Subject: Telling your doctor: miscarriage or abortion
Date Asked: 2010-01-12 12:14:16 allexperts.com

Question:
I have been seeking regular medical attention with my 16 week pregnancy,  including ultrasounds and blood work ups but my husband and I have decided we simply cannot continue with this pregnancy.
I am desperately worried my family doctor will not support my decision and judge me.  I live in Canada. I am in between seeing my family doctor and seeing an obstetrician for continued care.  Is there anyway I can avoid telling my family doctor the truth?  If I went back to him in a month or two after this is over, and told my family doctor that I had a miscarriage resulting in a D & C (which I have had before), is there any way he could find out the real truth?   Either through medical records, or can he inquire about or request the medical records?
Is there anything I could say to make my situation ‘believable’?  I fear being judged or scrutinized above all else.
Please help, I am losing sleep and am extremely upset about this situation.
Thank you
DJBM

Answer:
Dear J,
I support your decision to end your pregnancy if that is what you and your husband want to do.  There is no medical reason why your doctor would need to know whether you end the pregnancy  by abortion or natural miscarriage, so it is your choice whether you tell him about it.  He also coudn’t obtain your medical records without your permission.

The difficulty in creating a story has to do with how close of a relationship you have with him regarding your medical care.  If he is someone you would normally call if you started to have cramping and bleeding in your pregnancy, then there will be a question regarding why you didn’t call him.  Otherwise, you can simply say that you started to have cramping and heavy bleeding, and went to the ER.  You can describe what happened to you last time you went through this.  You would need a D&C for this stage of pregnancy.  If it helps, you could say this happened while you were visiting friends outside of the city where you live.

Given the issues of privacy and scrutiny you decribe, many women choose to come to New York City or go to another city for these kinds of services.

Good luck with your decision and getting the help you need,
Doctor Joan

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