As I peruse the latest blogs related to abortion, I see the abortion debate that I see in the news: extreme views and divisiveness. As an abortion provider, I see a very different view of abortion: healthy human conflictedness. If you believed what you saw in the media, you would perceive two rigid camps of people. Whichever camp you are in, the other group has horns. People are set in their views and aren’t open to listening to the “other side.”
As an abortion provider for the past 15 years, I find the day to day work in abortion care to be a more complex world. Of course there are people set in their views. But mostly, I see people being conflicted. People are dealing with the experience of being in a position they never wanted to be in, and are having to make some difficult decisions. I have seen women from all across the spectrum: anti-choice advocates who need to end a pregnancy for themself, or with their daughter; pro-choice advocates who find that they feel more conflicted about ending a pregnancy than they would have expected. I have worked with doctors who are strong defenders of the right to have an abortion, who find it difficult to provide abortions once an embryo can be identified. I have worked with people who felt one way yesterday, and another way today.
It is hard to have healthy conflict when the world is filled with “right” and “wrong.” For if we look at each other as human beings with different backgrounds, different politics, and different ways of seeing the world, we have to come to some agreement on how to proceed. I see families with widely divergent views on the “right” answer, come to some agreement on how to make a decision and remain a family. I believe it is important to create new kinds of conversation with each other as part of this process. I hope that this blog, where we can talk about real life situations, can contribute to that conversation.
Thursday, February 3rd, 2011 by drjoan